What are your relationship goals in 2023?
November and December are reflection months for me, and by extension for my clients.
I like to think about what went well this last year, what was challenging, what are some possible areas of growth, what should go on my vision board, and most importantly the action steps to make things happen.
Here are some important questions to assess the quality of your relationship whether you’ve been in it for 6 months or 15 years:
1. Does my partner give me energy or does he/she consistently take it away❓
2. Is my partner a source of support and positive energy❓
3. Does my partner bring the best out of me and challenge me to grow❓
4. Do I feel physically and emotionally safe around my partner❓
5. Do I LIKE this person? Do I enjoy doing things with them❓ Whether it’s cleaning the garage, binging on a Netflix series, or traveling together❓
6. How would I describe our communication❓ From matters of routine planning to more complex problem solving to initiating loving gestures and making repairs after an argument❓
7. How is our sex life❓ Do I feel like my needs are met❓ Is it playful and do I look forward to our times when we connect at a physical level❓
Once you answer these questions for yourself about your turn around them and do a self-evaluation on what type of partner you are, and if you are courageous, open-minded, and committed to growth, ask your partner to answer these questions about you. This should be an open door for welcoming some potential constructive criticism, which is the first step toward improvement.
The answers to these questions become the baseline for your goals for 2023. Write your goals down, put them in your phone, or write them on a whiteboard, but make them obvious. These goals are even more powerful if they are decided together as a couple. It’s a great feeling to know you are on the same page with your partner and that you both are committed to doing the work toward a deeper and more meaningful relationship.
On a side note, but very much relationship-related, I want to bring up the importance of physical intimacy. Physical intimacy is a huge aspect of an intimate relationship as it is the only thing that separates this relationship from all the others. When the physical touch and playfulness go away, it’s a big red flag as to the health of the relationship. Most times, partners don’t talk about it, the physical aspect just slowly dissipates. I actually see A LOT of “never really talking about what we like, what we don’t like, and what we should do to make it better for both of us. I’ve put together a FREE one-page guide with SIMPLE questions that every should couple should talk about, no matter how long they have been in the relationship. CLICK HERE to get your 10 Sex Questions Every Couple Should Ask Each Other At Least Once a Year