"Unspoken expectations will lead to hidden resentments."

You got married 5, 10, 15 years ago to what you thought was “the love of your life.” You felt connected in ways you couldn’t have ever dreamed of. You couldn’t wait to be with each other. You hoped it would last a lifetime and it would only get better, but it didn’t.

And now, you are barely roommates, let alone partners. You argue about petty, little things. They escalate, they turn into vicious attacks, feelings hurt, egos bruised, you don’t remember what you started fighting about but you are not giving up.

There are things you want to shout out but you can’t because you don’t want to hurt each other’s feelings with your honesty…………. or you do shout them out on a regular basis but they fall on deaf ears.

You’ve considered divorce but neither of you can tolerate the idea of having the kids go between two homes.

Or things have been unpleasant for so long and one of you found comfort, joy, and passion in someone else’s arms.

Does any of this sound familiar?

Many marriages do end up in divorce. And some relationships do stay intact for the kids but they make miserable home environments and model the unhealthy relationship for them hurting the children even more in the long run.

It really shouldn’t be like this. You shouldn’t have to tough it out. You both deserve a peaceful, loving, and warm home. That’s where therapy comes in.

Whether it’s “conscious uncoupling” (thanks to Gwyneth Paltrow for coining the term) or just giving it another try for the 2.0 version, there are better, easier, and more productive ways to have a relationship.

My approach to Relationship Counseling:

• I have a straightforward approach and always look for practical solutions to each couple’s challenges
• A non-judgmental, neuroscientific approach to relationships (how the brain works) with a whole lot of real-world tips and action steps
• I initially see both partners together in the first session to get an idea of the overall challenges and individual interest in participating in therapy
• Then, I see each partner individually to gather additional facts and get the honest experience and feelings about the challenges described in the first session without being afraid of hurting the other partner’s feelings
• We reunite in the 4th session when we come up with mutually agreed-upon goals and an action plan.
• I will give you my recommendation of how often we should have sessions, but ultimately you are in charge of your schedule
• When time or financial matters keep us from staying on a regular schedule, I assign homework to be done in between sessions to keep the progress and the momentum going; change takes time and practice!
• I customize my recommendations to ensure they fit into the family’s day-to-day routine
• Easy access to me by email or text in between sessions
• Check-in and follow-up emails in between sessions with additional resources

If you have any questions or are ready to give this a try, email me at drruxlemay@gmail.com or call/text (623) 628-0406 or simply set up an appointment right here. My office is in Litchfield Park, Arizona. I also offer telehealth sessions because convenience is huge when there are not enough hours in a day and can’t find child care.