Mediation Services

Why MEDIATION?

Honestly, the biggest reason is that Court is really not a fun place. It’s scary, intimidating, expensive and takes away any control you may think you have over your life! Trust me, I’ve been there.

Ideally, you hope that 2 people can get together, discuss their disagreements, and be able to reach a compromise on their own. The reality is that reaching an agreement, especially when there is money involved, is a lot more difficult. Communication difficulties, hurt feelings, a sense of entitlement, revenge, a faulty perception of reality can all lead to exhaustion, exasperation, and a strong need to outsource the conflict to someone else like attorneys and a judge.

Let someone else deal with this because you ran out of options!

And for some people and some cases, attorneys and judges are exactly what they need. But they surely come at a cost, financial and emotional.

However, there is another place in between DIY (do-it-yourself) and Court, and that is mediation.

Mediation is a process wherein a neutral person, such as myself, can help parties reach a compromise they can both live with. I’m not a judge, I will not be taking any sides, I’m not going to say who is right and who is wrong.

My job is to create a safe space and facilitate a conversation between the two parties, which may have been difficult up to that point. The goal for this conversation is to help them find common ground and help them find solutions that are genuinely agreeable to both.

In what circumstances can mediation help?

Mediation can be used in ANY situations that includes 2 people disagreeing and reaching an impasse. An impasse is when they are stuck, deadlocked, no movement, no progress, no light at the end of the tunnel.

Here are some of the circumstances:

Neighbors, landlord & tenants, and HOAs
Family members
Businesses and consumers
Employers and employees
Divorce proceedings
Post-divorce property issues
Co-parenting

10 important things to know about Divorce Mediation

1

It’s never too early and never too late to mediate. In my couples’ therapy sessions, I offer divorce preparation sessions are leaning heavily in that direction. We talk about what a divorce would look like, financially, emotionally, and from a children’s perspective. It’s a pre-mediation session.

2

The mediator is not in charge and will not make a decision for you. You are in control of what you agree to.

3

The mediator will meet with both parties at the same time but also have separate sessions with each party to truly understand each one of your position and interests.

4

You do not have to sign or agree to anything you do not want to. Mediation is about compromise, but that does not mean being forced to something you cannot live with or regret later. I prefer to have some time between sessions so both of you can sleep on all the options we brainstorm about in our mediation sessions.

5

Mediation is significantly cheaper than the legal route. My fee is $250 per hour and it’s split between the parties most of the time. Lawyers cost anywhere between $350 to 500 per hours and you are both responsible for your own attorney.

6

Mediated divorces generally take about 10-20 hours depending on the complexity of the situation; contested divorces can take up to 100 hours of each attorney’s time.

7

Mediation involves work and engagement in the process.

8

Mediation can have 3 outcomes:

· We could leave with a full resolution that you both are satisfied with

· We could have partial resolution and you’d have to use attorneys for the unresolved items (this still saves time and money)

· We may have no resolution, but you can leave mediation with a better understanding of each other’s perspective and goals. We may gain a better understanding of our own position and goals and that is not wasted time. As painful as it is, in my experience, conflict is an opportunity for change and growth. You can go home, process the sessions, reflect on what happened and come back to the drawing board with more clarity when you do have to discuss the matter with the attorney and the court.

9

I do not handle cases with situations involving domestic violence or abuse. Actually, in our free 30-minute consultation, I screen couples to make sure we are not dealing with this type of situations, whether mediation is the best venue for you and whether I am the best fit for you.

10

As a therapist, I can say for sure that it’s not divorce that traumatizes children, it’s how the parents handle the divorce. Children just want their parents to be happy, so they can be emotionally available to them, and teach them how to be in calm, loving, respectful relationships.