"The Five C's of ADHD parenting: self-control, compassion, collaboration, consistency, celebration."
ADHD in itself is not really a problem. It becomes a problem when you are surrounded by neurotypicals that ask (and expect) you to do and act in a way that makes no sense to you. And then they get mad that you are not doing it. And then they ask: “what’s wrong with you?”
If this sentence makes total sense then either you have ADHD or you are a neurotypical who is the parent or the spouse of a person with ADHD.
Now that doesn’t mean that this dynamic is not extremely frustrating for the neurotypical. Of course, it is. It’s maddening! It’s like two people speaking foreign languages to each other.
But either way, you know this thing is not going away. Unless you want to be by yourself on an island. So, what do you do?
You learn to embrace it and you get ready to learn a foreign language!
Medication can make a big difference but it’s truly the therapy (or management or coaching-my preferred terms) that can make your ADHD superpowers shine. Because it will give you coping mechanisms for those areas that are different…a list of survival tips in a neurotypical land.
Management & coaching should include things like:
How to planHow to prioritizeHow to engage in tasks that you have no interest in but are still essential to doHow to trick a low internal motivationHow to compensate for a shaky working memoryHow to allow some time for a slower processing speedHow to actually recognize the importance of timeHow to fine tune some social skillsHow to move away from an “all or nothing” approach and how to find balanceHow to take NO for an answer without a meltdownHow to manage anxiety, depression, and self-doubt, which are secondary symptoms after a lifetime of negative feedback
These are all areas that we would work on together depending on where you are in your life and what your needs and goals are going forward.
Or if we are talking about a child, this is even a better time to work on it because we have extra time to strengthen neural pathways that are underdeveloped to give the child higher rates of achievement sooner rather than later…
And of course, to give you, the parent, a safe place to cry, laugh, and vent about the experiences of parenting a strong willed but loving child with lots of quirky but also amazing qualities!
My Approach to ADHD Management & Coaching:
- I rely heavily on a full neuropsychological assessment report that will highlight strengths and areas of opportunity.
- This pretty much means it will give us a very good picture of how your (or your child’s brain works). It’s an extremely powerful tool that will serve as a roadmap for all of our coaching sessions.
- Once we get a report, we will identify 3-4 main goals that we will work on for a period of 6 months before moving on to something else
- Together, we design a plan that works for you (aka things you are actually willing to try) that will help you (or your child) reach these goals
- I’m a big believer in the team approach to include a psychiatrist (or primary care physician), teachers, IEP (504 plan) school coordinator, speech therapist, occupational therapist, parents (or main caregivers), or anyone else that would contribute to your well-being or your child’s.
- We put the plan in place, give it some time to practice, and re-evaluate as neededYou’ll have easy access to me by email or text in between sessions and our Facebook Support Group, West Valley #ADHD Resources & Support
If you have any questions or are ready to give this a try, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or call/text (623) 628-0406 or simply set up an appointment right here. My office is in Litchfield Park, AZ and I also offer Telehealth sessions because convenience is huge when there are not enough hours in a day and can’t find childcare.