September 2017

As you all know by now, I’ve been on a journey to re-wire and strengthen the Right side of my brain. Once I allowed myself to be open to a fun, creative, and stimulating world, I feel like my life has added a new kind of meaning and joy. This is a life-long journey for me. I am constantly looking for brilliant new ways to help me learn and grow. In this blog series, I want to share my findings with you. Every month, I will highlight three resources: one for your mind, one for your body, and one for your soul. I hope this carefully curated list of books, websites, YouTube channels, articles, podcasts, games, or just quick quotes will enhance your life, help you grow, and bring you joy and health as much as they did for me and my family.  

Here is September’s list:

For Your Mind

1. Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson

As a psychologist, I read a lot of books and I recommend a lot of books to my clients and my friends, but from a therapeutic perspective, I usually have about 15-20 books that I consider my core resources. These are books that I highlight, re-read many times over, and I quote during my therapy sessions, my blogs, or my courses. This book just made my core list. It’s natural that we grow up idealizing our parents even when their choices, parenting style, their own emotional baggage and immaturity truly stunt our growth, hurt our own feelings, and set us up for a life of emotional difficulties. Whether they do it on purpose or they do it because they are “victims” of their own parents’ faulty parenting skills (which leads to a generational vicious cycle), society does not generally encourage speaking up against our parents. Thus, we grow up and continue living with this emptiness and feelings of inadequacy and are not allowed to pin point its origin without being labeled rebellious and ungrateful. This is a fantastic book that will explain so much and validate so many feelings that may allow a reader to start the healing process. 

For Your Body

1. Hilary Jacobs Hendel's blog hilaryjacobshendel.com

As a continuation to my first recommendation, children that grew up with emotionally immature parents did not have a chance to learn about their feelings, experience any validation, or learn how to trust their feelings and intuition. A number of problems persists into their adulthood, especially when it comes to relationships and self-esteem. Hilary points out that “our feelings are a compass for living, informing us about what we want and don't want, about who turns us on, what excites us, what hurts us. Ignoring emotions leads to stress, anxiety and difficulty finding joy and peace - a feeling of loss of Self.” It’s not that we don’t have feelings; we have plenty and some are raging. We just don’t know what the heck to do with them, which often gets us in more trouble. Hilary’s teachings will start you from the beginning and guide you on how to listen to your body, discover core emotions, and what to do to manage them to alleviate the discomfort. PS. I also love her Twitter posts which are snippets of wisdom. You can follow her as well @HilaryJHendel. 

For Your Soul

1. In the Company of Women: Inspiration and Advice from over 100 Makers, Artists, and Entrepreneurs by Grace Bonney

Love, love, love this book! I read a little bit and look at the pictures almost every day, just to lift me up and draw some extra motivation. This collection features a diverse selection of women of different ages, ethnic or social backgrounds, each with a unique and engaging story. The profiles are brief, but they give enough information to get you hooked, in a good way. It's well made and I really like the photography. Seeing some of the studios and workspaces of these creative minds is so inspiring. I first got it as a gift for an entrepreneurial friend, then I got one for myself, and I have a feeling it will be my gift to a few other special people in my life. ABOUT: Dr. Ruxandra LeMay is a private practice psychologist in Litchfield Park, Arizona with experience in family therapy, ADHD, stress and anxiety management, and executive coaching. She is the author of My Spouse Wants More Sex Than Me: The 2-Minute Solution For a Happier Marriage. Click HERE to check out her free resources on effective communication, emotional unavailability, intimacy, and anxiety management or join her at www.ruxandralemay.comfor monthly blogs posts.