Welcome to our Wednesday series for anxious people who have an oversensitive alarm
system, whose “danger scanner” is always on, and who need a little bit of self-care and
positive emotional energy by mid-week (when the tanks are starting to approach
depletion). Calm nature pictures are a great way to “nurture” our insecure selves and
help us stay grounded and in the moment.
We’ve talked a lot about relaxation and self-care, but do you actually know when you have to
pause and apply these skills? It’s not something we learn as children, and most people
only react when it’s too late.
Many of us are a ball of anxiety, impatience, and anger. For us, it’s critical that we
identify that low battery time. Unfortunately, our brain doesn’t give an obvious
notification like our cell phone does, so it’s up to us to pay attention to the signs.
It comes down to identifying emotions or feelings, which are often red flags for stress.
The best way to start working on this is when you feel something strongly, generally of
the unpleasant and negative flavor.
Take a time-out, find some private space and review this list of questions:
1. What are my sensations in my body?
2. On a scale of 1 to 10, how strong are they?
3. What are the images in my mind?
4. What feelings am I experiencing?
5. “Name and tame” the feelings: “I feel sad(ness)” vs. “I am sad”
6. On a scale of 1 to 10, how intense are these feelings and sensations?
7. What thoughts are crossing my mind?
8. What words are on the tip of the tongue?
9. What patterns from your past is this experience triggering?
I am specifically challenging you to look at emotions such as sadness, disappointment,envy, jealousy, embarrassment, frustration and aggravation. These are the ones that usually get us because they are not pleasant to experience. Anything over a 5 on that scale, probably requires a longer pause and access to your Rest and Relaxation toolbox to activate the strategies that work for you.
We will focus on building your toolbox the entire month of June.
If you think you could use additional support managing your anxiety, but you’re not quite ready for in-person therapy, I encourage you to take a look at my 2-hour course, The Overthinker’s Guide to Managing Anxiety. You can take this course at your own pace and as many times as you’d like. This is the jumpstart you need to start managing your anxiety once and for all!
ABOUT: Dr. Ruxandra LeMay is a private practice psychologist in Litchfield Park, Arizona with experience in family therapy, ADHD, stress and anxiety management, and executive coaching. She is the author of My Spouse Wants More Sex Than Me: The 2-Minute Solution For a Happier Marriage. Click HERE to check out her free resources on effective communication, emotional unavailability, intimacy, and anxiety management or join her at www.ruxandralemay.com for monthly blog posts.